Posts

Shame

Shame: If there is anything I want to avoid in life its "Shame". But being a christian, I realize that when we follow Jesus, shame is inevitable. When I have a worldly view of shame, it can cripple me and honestly, it does.  You see when we follow Jesus, we face strange trials. These trials can make us feel shameful. Shame often leads me to being angry, blaming others and being bashful. But you see shame is good.  Jesus, the Son of God had to endure insults and shame Himself. When we face shame, it appears to be the end of us. But shame is not the end of us. God has a way of redeeming us through shame. So I will wait on God in my shame and wait for the redemption He has in store for me. Amen. My soul waits for the Lord Like one who has fallen, Who has lost all hope. My soul trusts in Him, And I will be redeemed Shame puts me down,

A strange Problem

 A strange problem: While growing up, I felt stuck and crushed by my self righteous cousin. It was hard. On the outside, she had the reputation of a perfect christian but on the other side she was jealous and evil in everyway towards those near her. That was bewildering. Born to a mom of CSI denomination and a dad of Catholic denomination, I found my cousins diabolic nature very disturbing and my cousin came from my mom's side. When I got saved in the summer of my 10th grade, I had the choice to choose between the 2 denominations and I chose to be a Catholic because of the horrible experience with my cousin sister.  But when I went to college, I met a person called Shyba. She was a CSI christian, but she was unlike my cousin. She was truthful and sincere. She told me that Jesus was all she had and she didn't want to lose Him ever. Those words pierced my heart and slowly as our friendship grew, I knew I had to embrace Jesus and not hold on to any denomination. I went to Assembl...

ephesians

  I will not be ashamed to share with you how my life was before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior. It was dark. Very dark and bleak. There was no hope. It felt like I was in a trap and needed to be rescued. Someone else was operating my life. Someone dictated what I watched on TV and someone operated my mind of what I was going to become. And I was a slave to that someone. Well, reading Ephesians I understand now who that someone is. It is the spirit of disobedience. Also the lusts of my flesh lured me and held me in bondage. My eyes were blinded. I did not understand God's word, the bible, even if I read it.  But one day I decided that I am not going to walk this way. I cried out to Jesus for help. I screamed to God to help me. God in His mercy rescued me. He made to taste His love for me. He picked me up from the trap. He delivered my soul from sin. His grace made sure that I didn't go back to the old sinful lifestyle. Ephesians 1 says that when God rescued us from sin...

The outcast

THE OUTCAST: I feel like an outcast I don't fit in anywhere Not in the world or even in the church  Days seem drudging My thoughts are exhausted I have chosen grief to be my friend There is no one who can be trusted No one who speaks good No one who encourages another They say they believe in Jesus But do not believe in His power and grace  To transform a sinner to a saint Like Elijah I hate my life What good is my life to me I am an outcast Cast aside and thrown away  Yet I find my hope in His Word I will meditate on His word daily And though my walk is feeble God will send me help Then I will race like Elijah I will be swifter than Ahab And I will overtake him to Mt. Carmel And give glory to My God.

Why?

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 WHY? Why does it have to be this way? Why did the Son of God have to be born as a human and that too in a stable? Why did God send His only Son, Jesus to be murdered? Why did Jesus have to be betrayed by one of His own disciples? Why did people pour out false witnesses to kill Jesus? Why did the religious leaders, consumed with self-righteousness and jealousy rise up against Jesus even though He didn't do anything wrong? Why did the crowd which once praised Jesus, saying "Blessed is He who comes in the name of Lord" now scream that He be killed? Why did even His close friends desert Jesus when He was arrested? Why was Jesus so quiet through the entire trial that led to His crucifixion on the cross? Why did He let the soldiers to whip Him and mock Him? He is powerful and nothing is impossible for Him. He could have stopped them from harming Him. Why did He have to bear that cross and be hanged on it like a criminal even though there was no sin found in Him? Why was His he...

Loneliness

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This loneliness is hard Somehow we are not created for this I bump into walls impenetrable I long for a place to gather and pray I long for a sister mighty to lead in prayer But there is no one Thinking of it, its not easy to lead The one who leads should be the one who serves And no one is willing to serve, not even me I am waiting for the classes to start When I will have work to do Being idle is wrecking my soul It makes me bitter and angry But I understand that all these things are only fleeting I understand people better now I know what they will say All the silly things they say about me They want you to be perfect  While they themselves have all the reasons in the world to be imperfect But my loneliness still remains My frustrations are vented on my kids I wish I could be a more responsible mother I wish this season would soon pass A good fellowship is needed for a peaceful life But if you can't find one  You need to go through this phase The loneliness phase The waitin...

Sarah's survival

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 Sarah's Survival  Part 1: The Conversation But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. Micah 7: 7      It was a hot summer afternoon. Sarah was carrying her backpack and pulling her suitcase on the dusty rugged pavement, that led to the women's hostel where she was supposed to stay for the next 6 years to pursue her college degree. She was frustrated. She was confused. She did not understand. She made zero friends. She was all alone. There was nothing significant about her life. How was she supposed to survive? She was puzzled. She thought within herself, "Hmmm....I wonder what algorithm God had programmed in my brain. It is like a complicated computer program". It ran something of this sort. Complex Brain Program: int friend; for(int i=0; i<=once_whom_i_come_across; i++) { if (spirit_is_attracted)   -----------------------------> This value is the mystery!  friend++;     } prin...